Public Sector Siestas & Escape to the Country

Growth. That elusive buzzword that politicians love to sprinkle over every speech, policy, and strategy session. Labour’s government, however, has taken a rather unconventional route in their quest for economic dynamism, choosing a path that seems better suited to Escape to the Country than to a thriving, competitive economy. As of November 2024, we find ourselves living in a Britain where public-sector pay rises, four-day work weeks, and remote siestas are touted as solutions. And leading the charge? Labour’s new line-up of ministers, who seem to be drawing more from daytime-TV favourites than from any economics textbook.

At the helm of this brave new world, we have Keir Starmer as Prime Minister, Angela Rayner as Deputy Prime Minister and Secretary of State for Levelling Up, and Rachel Reeves as Chancellor of the Exchequer – each of them waxing lyrical about flexible work, "fair" wages, and reduced hours as if the growth potential of these initiatives is more Loose Women than Dragon’s Den. With these policies, Labour appears to be aiming for a kind of public-sector utopia, leaving the rest of us to wonder where genuine growth is supposed to come from.

Public Sector Siestas and the "Escape to the Country" Economy

Take the government’s approach to the public sector, for instance. This year, public-sector pay rises have surpassed those of the private sector for the first time since the pandemic, even though productivity hasn’t exactly rebounded to pre-Covid levels. In other words, Labour has set the public sector up for a national version of Homes Under the Hammer – less productivity, higher pay. Rachel Reeves, overseeing the nation’s finances as Chancellor, assures us that this is all part of a grand strategy to boost “resilience” and “retention.”

Meanwhile, Deputy PM Angela Rayner is all in on flexible working, having just given the green light to the UK’s first four-day work week pilot in South Cambridgeshire District Council. Staff there now enjoy a leisurely 32-hour week with full pay, courtesy of the taxpayer. And as for consulting the council’s residents – the people actually footing the bill – on this arrangement? Apparently, it wasn’t a priority. After all, who needs accountability when you can pilot Come Dine With Me hours on the public dime?

Snooze and You Shall Receive: The Four-Day Week Farce

In Rayner’s words, this four-day work week represents a “progressive” step forward, transforming public service into a new frontier of taxpayer-funded “productivity.” But with mounting evidence that remote public-sector employees are working less and sleeping more, one wonders how much growth Britain can expect from a workforce lounging through shorter weeks. Rayner’s enthusiasm might seem inspired if it weren’t sounding suspiciously like an extended Call the Midwife soliloquy on workplace wellbeing, all sentiment and little strategy.

Meanwhile, Liz Kendall, the Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, stands as another champion of Labour’s flexible work doctrine. Yet, as unemployment rises to 4.3% – higher than expected by economists – one has to wonder if Kendall’s focus on “worker empowerment” isn’t more The Apprentice than reality, with the UK jobs market cooling faster than a Great British Bake Off soufflé.

Public Sector Paradise, Private Sector Purgatory

While Labour ministers roll out “fair” policies for public sector staff, the private sector has been left to pick up the tab. Reeves, the Chancellor, talks endlessly about the benefits of flexible work, but Britain’s economy is showing fewer and fewer signs of true flexibility. Her “new deals” may sound lovely on paper, but with UK companies now reluctant to hire amidst sky-high minimum wages and National Insurance hikes, Reeves’ vision of worker rights may be sending the private sector into slow-motion decline.

Ironically, some private firms are now docking pay for remote employees, who studies show value work-from-home perks at roughly 5% of their salary. This is, however, a move that’s as likely to happen in the public sector as finding Diane Abbott suddenly appointed as Labour’s surprise economic guru. As Jacob Rees-Mogg once noted, public sector offices have become “nice and comfortable”—an understatement, it turns out, for a workforce settled into Taskmaster-style working conditions with none of the rigour or the challenge.

Meanwhile, the Thought Police Go Prime Time

While the public sector settles into its new naptime policies, some in the private sector are learning the hard way about Labour’s approach to “free” speech. Allison Pearson, the conservative columnist, was recently visited by police officers investigating a year-old tweet, delivered to her door on Remembrance Sunday. The officers didn’t specify the offending tweet, nor did they identify the complainant – though “Kafkaesque” doesn’t quite do it justice.

Meanwhile, crime on Britain’s high streets has taken on a Supermarket Sweep vibe, with shoplifters making off with goods while police spend their time investigating private opinions. Under Labour’s watch, the balance of British policing seems to have shifted towards a two-tier approach: actual theft and petty crime get a polite shrug, while “wrongthink” on social media gets the full Line of Duty treatment. And Pearson’s complainant? They’re officially referred to as “the victim,” in a rebranding that could have been plucked straight from the Black Mirror writers’ room.

Labour’s Grand Growth Strategy: Britain as the New France (But Wetter)

In the grand vision of Starmer, Reeves, Rayner, and Kendall, the real model for Britain isn’t so much the land of hard graft and innovation as it is a soggy version of France, where long lunches, short work weeks, and high unemployment are cherished institutions. It’s as if Labour ministers are secretly binge-watching Escape to the Château, mistaking French laissez-faire culture for a credible blueprint for UK growth. Prime Minister Starmer and his team seem to believe Britain’s best hope lies in becoming a state where the worker is king and “productivity” is more of a quaint concept from the Thatcher years.

Labour’s strategy looks less like a plan for prosperity and more like a British spin-off of Les Misérables, with Reeves and Rayner in starring roles. Every policy they roll out seems to inch us closer to France’s 7.3% unemployment rate, with little concern for long-term growth or global competitiveness. In the meantime, those British businesses that aren’t shackled by inflexible policies are left to foot the bill for a public sector growing “nice and comfortable.”

In Summary: Labour’s Economic Sitcom, or, When Will Growth Really Start?

So where, exactly, is real growth going to come from? It’s hard to say. Britain in 2024 is less The Apprentice and more Dad’s Army – a nostalgia-infused sitcom where Starmer, Reeves, Rayner, and Kendall are the leads in an economic strategy that would be funny if it weren’t so close to reality. With public sector pay hikes, four-day work weeks, and social media witch hunts, Labour’s current administration feels more suited to daytime reruns than to a national recovery plan.

Real growth might have to wait for another season, one where Labour’s ministers trade in Loose Women for economic foresight, where productivity means more than comfortable conditions, and where we start focusing on work that actually grows the economy. Until then, Britain may find itself stalled somewhere between Antiques Roadshow and Bargain Hunt, watching the world move on as we linger, waiting for Labour to get up off the sofa.